Its What I Wore Wednesday time again...

Hey y'all... its time again for What I Wore Wednesday with Lindsey Mother of Bloggers at thepleatedpoppy.com  The shoes are another inspiration from her... I have seen these shoes all over the blogs.. they are like the blogger shoe... I tried to get mine at Target but they didn't have my size so I got these over at urbanog.com for 12.99.. cheaper than Target... yay!!! Have a wonderful Wednesday my friends.. this is my last Free Wednesday... Next week we go in to get the classroom togehter and the week after that school begins.... it will be wonderful to get outside of my own head and focus on those little beasts coming my  way....

Where was God???

I remember when my mom was in ICU at University of Chicago Hospital.... she was in a medically induced coma and the nurse told me.. "Talk to her.. she can hear everything..."... so I talkedl to her... and the nurse told me his story that he had his kidneys and lungs donated by a donor who had died of a drug over dose...he said that he didn't belive in God because his donor was a drug user and didn't believe in God because she suffered so much and then passed... I was so suprised to hear this because my thoughts were that this person had God in their life all up and through and didn't want to see it... I told him that God was with her whenever she got food, or medical assistance, or housing..  God was there...
I can't say what this girl went through.... I wasn't there... but I DO believe God is there ... all of the time... He is there through thick and thin.... He is there when you don't want him to be... when you  think you've got it.... He's there.... He wants whats best for us... He is our father and We are His children..... God loves us and wants whats best for us.... Wherever God dwells... we are home...

Who are you??

All of my posts lately have been sad sad sad.....

but today... no more sad!!! The question remains.. who are you? Who are you if you're not "Mrs.Bruce"I have been "Mrs..Bruce" for 19 years and I have loved every minute of it... I love being Mrs.Bruce..Mrs.Bruce is a good teacher name, but its also a good life.. Mrs.Bruce is happy... most of the time.. the problem with Mrs.Bruce... is MR.Bruce isn't happy with Mr.Bruce.... he needs more.. and that is where the problem lies... Can Mr.Bruce make Mrs.Bruce happy??? Can Mrs.Bruce make Mr.Bruce happy? These are questions that are hard to answer because its not as simple as one person... its a life....its a career.... its complicated...and I can't say that it will all be smooth sailing....I don't know... and the not knowing is the hardest part... I have myself, I have my kids, and I have my dogs... I don't have my hubsband... so I have uncertainty.... but the most important part is me... I have me... I have to live with me forever so I have to find what makes ME happy... I know most of it...Mr.Bruce is DEFINITELY a part of what makes me happy.... but what makes me happy has to come from me.. it has to start with me... I am one with the source... and that has to be enough for now... I have to love me more than I love anyone else.... then I can decide what my future holds....Who are you? I am ME... I am SUZANNE... Suzanne is fun... Suzanne is funny... Suzanne is... enough......

Is home where the heart is?

Thats the question... I don't know...Illinois has ALWAYS been my home.. even different parts of Illinois... its always been the home of my family... of my kids... and now home feels empty without my hubsband... and I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO MAD!!!!!! So home is not a happy place.... I feel like I have gone so far in making this my home.. it has everything a home should have.. kids, dogs, furnishings, a big screen TV, pictures... so why would anyone leave it? Thats why I'm so mad... its good here... why leave? Why look for something exotic and adventurous when you have people who love you here? Its the question I've been asking over and over and over again... This is still my home.. it probably always will be... what will come of this home, I don't know... but I HAVE to believe happiness will come again... it will be here... God sees what I can't see and for everything a home is... Wherever God dwells... I'm home.....

Marriage is like jumping off the Sears Tower....

ok y'all.. I have been talking about it for months now.. and today my hubsband has left to go to Virginia for his government job.... so now I have nothing but good to look forward to because the bad thing has happened... and it has been bad... bad... bad...
Have you ever seen your husband cry? or your dad cry? its hard, but its good because its human... my hubsband cried for about two days before he left...(its ok that I'm telling you this.. he doesn't read the blog) the crying is out of character because I've only seen it maybe 3 times before... the crying makes me feel better because I know hes not taking all of this lightly... but this job... ughhh.... its NOT a good thing... imagine your spouse wants to jump off the Sears Tower and tells you that hes thinking about it and hes really convinced that its a good thing... you would of course say, "no.. thats a horrible idea... you should NOT do it.. you will get killed"... and then they say, "No.. I have really been thinking about it and I think I would grow wings in the middle of the jump and I would be famous, and it would really be good for all of us if I did it" then you say, "THIS IS CRAZY!!! I DO NOT WANT YOU TO DO THIS!!!" and then he says, " Well thats good that you have concerns.. lets talk about them... every day... for like 5 hours a day... and please lay out all of your fears for me".. and then you say, " this will hurt you, it will hurt me, it will hurt our kids, you could die, this isnt' good for anyone".. and then he says, " ok.. well I've listened to your concerns.. but that Sears tower is calling my name and I've already committed so I've got to do it... but we can talk about it some more and I can keep telling you why I think its a good idea" and you get to the point where you are saying to yourself, " Well maybe it is a good idea.. maybe it would be good... " and then you come to your senses and start thinking maybe everyone has gone crazy except me.... so off he goes to jump off the Sears Tower... and I can't stop him.... thats how I feel about this job....

Who are you writing for???

Its so funny... Whenever I write this blog I think of who I am writing to.... I always think I'm writing to other bloggers... but as it turns out I am writing for someone unexpected... my dad... as it turns out, he is a regular reader of my little blog... not that I don't want him reading I just didn't think he would be interested... but its a comfort to know hes reading... its easy to write to an unknown person that you dont' know.. you can share all kinds of tragedies and feelings because its anonomous... but to know that my dad is reading it, its nice.. its a connection we have... so to ALL my readers and especially my dad... love you as always for stopping by..and now I have to make sure my spelling is all right.. uggghh!!!!

Its hard to be a Mama...

Uggghhh.... When its good its good when its bad its bad... on top of my hubsband's imminent departure which has ruled over this blog for weeks... now it turns out my beloved Brady (seen here)

needs to get two of his teeth extracted.... this is so awful, but I know he needs it because I had another dog, Mattie (seen here)who

had bad teeth for the last part of her life and I think her gum disease spread to her heart and eventually led to her passing... so now faced with the gum disease again.. I have to have the teeth pulled... I am very worried because this will be painful for him...hes a poor baby!!!! I remember when my son got his tooth pulled when he was 5... he was so scared.... poor Brady won't know what hit him... but like I said.. We HAVE to do it... and the 700.00 price tag... that is pretty painful as well.....

But... we again persevere!!! (DEEP BREATH) things can only get better!!!!

What are you afraid of?

This is my scared face... its hard to look scared when you're not scared.....
I was blog hopping around and found this blog...lifeofacoyfish.blogspot.com and she put a list up of what she was scared of.... "Scared" is a relative term I realize as I am deathly afraid of things going bad with my hubsband's move... my body is stressing HOURLY over this move as I do not think its a good idea... so thats like a big fear... but what am I afraid of like just afraid of ... I don't know if any of you have ever seen this.... but this is what I'm afraid of...
 This is a kite swing... when I was little there was a kite swing at the playground by my house... I was like 5 and a big girl got on the other swing.. swung around the pole and the other swing got higher and then she got on and my little five year old body went around the center pole... Since then I have been like deathly afraid of swings.... and it is the MOST irrational fear because its not the physical thing.. its big kids getting on things that are too big for them and ruining it for everyone else...I swear I am getting a panic attack just thinking about it.... so spiders, snakes, roller coasters, the dark, ghosts, mere childs play.... kite swing... AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another cute blog to check out...

Hey y'all.. today I am blog hopping today looking for some cute new blogs... I found this one...fourfrontdoors.blogspot.com.. This blog is like cooking, crafting, fashion, mom tips... all encompassed in one blog... super cute...

WIWW

Hey y'all.. its Wednesday so today we linkup with Lindsey over at thepleatedpoppy.com and look for some new blogs...
have a wonderful Wednesday my friends!!!

a look back...

All day I've been watching this video of William and Kate and their new baby just like all of you.... and I have to admit.. I'm JEALOUS.... of what??? of the newness of it all.... not the fashion or the baby or the hubsband... of the newness!!!! A first baby is a first baby and it is a once in a lifetime thing... your life changes in an instant... one minute you're pregnant and can go to the movie and the next minute you're a mama and you can't leave the living room.... When I had my first baby we lived in a one bedroom apartment... I went to a friends house who lived in Naperville and she had a luxurious 3 bedroom house with custom fixings... I was jealous... but as I look back at that one bedroom apartment I think... we had no room to not be together... we were always together... we had no choice... so was it that bad? No.. my daughter doesn't even remember it... she doesn't remember that I had post partum depression and was crying for about 3 days after she was born... she doesn't remember how I felt so inadequate as a mother... she doesn't remember when my aunt died and had to get her up at 6 am to go pick up my grandma... she doesnt' even remember when I had to get her up at 6 am when I worked in the city.... she doesnt' remember any of that.... I remember it... and now.. now that shes 19... I hope she just remembers me as me.....I hope when she has her babies I will remember all of it and help her to remember.. this is once in a lifetime... cherish it!!!

My teeny tiny wings...

ok... A while back I posted how I got these wings on decorsteals.com... I thought they would look like this..

not like I didn't know what they looked like, but I thought they would be that big... however... I was wrong...the wings are very small... itty bitty...

 it was kind of disappointing bcause I really thought they were going to be like a picture... thats the thing with decorsteals... I like it and I look forward to seeing the steals every day, but you can't see the size from the photos... so of course I hung my wings and I like them.. but not as big as I would have liked

Happy Monday

I have a new photo bomber... All my dogs love to photo bomb but they HATE getting their pictures taken.... Here is the latest.. so just look for one of them in every one of my pics....
My posts have been so deep and sad lately as I go through them... but today... we switch it up... today... I am going to give y'all some more shows that are worth your attention...

1. Bridezilla Boot Camp  This show is on the WE network and its almost over so you can catch it on demand and watch the whole season in one sitting... Girrrrrrrrrrrllllllllll.. I LOVE this show!!! All of the bridezillas are not that bad... well.. I mean bad in moderation... but the boot camp is really good...

2. Maron This show is on the IFC network... its an IFC show so of course there are only like 7 episodes, but its  got kind of a Louis CK feel to it... its not exactly dark comedy... but cynical comedy... again.. you can watch all of them in one day...
3. Four Houses 3. Four Houses... this is on TLC and in the same vein as Four Weddings (which I also HIGHLY recommend) Four people go into each other's houses and rate them and then the winner gets 10,000.00... I LOVE this show... I could watch it for a week...
4. Bar Rescue ok.. I don't know if you have heard of this or are watching it.. but this show is grrrrrrreat!!! Jon Taffer is a bad ass!!! He tells it like it is...

5. Back in rotation....

The Dog Whisperer... I have got to make sure these dogs are happy and healthy....

and since I can't leave the house because of these three... tv is my new best friend.....

***linking up with www.carissagraham.com and samisshenanigans.com

WHERES THE DOG????

I remember when I had my son and I would feed him in the middle of the night because he woke up so often... I would either fall asleep while feeding him or put him to bed, go back to sleep and either way I would wake up in the middle of the night and in a panic yell, "WHERES THE BABY????" Well having a new puppy is about the same thing.. I constantly ask, "Wheres the dog?? is the dog eating? is the dog sleeping? did the dog go outside? did the dog poop? did the dog pee? when was the last time he ate? did he drink water in the last 20 minutes? does he need to be walked?" its a constant monitoring of the dog... hes going to be a big dog so I have to make SURE he knows to go OUTSIDE!!! I have NEVER had a big dog in my life.. only small dogs and small dogs= small poops big dogs = big poops.... but so far.. so good.. all poops outside...3 dogs is no joke... but I can handle it right??? ok... after a glass of wine.....

A new dog... tears... a promise..

ok. y'all... the new dog... has been adopted.... my  current dogs.. both badasses have been..... curious.. but not aggressive... which is good... this is Colby... so now I have Colby,Cooper, and Brady...24 hours ago I just had tears, lots of tears over hubsband leaving in one week.... but this is a.... distraction.... so now I have 3 dogs and a purpose.. to break in this dog and train him... alot has changed in 24 hours... there were many tears on my part... on my hubsband's part.. but now... a pledge.. we MUST stay together... what choice do we have?? We are a family.. and this is our newest member... so for Casey, for Jack, for Brady, for Cooper and now for Colby... we are a family.. we stick together no matter what.. no matter what... what does this mean?? I don't know yet.. but  you will be with me along the way... Love you as always for stopping by.. 

The heat wave continues...

ugghhh.. and so does my bad mood!!! I feel like my whole life is unraveling before my eyes... My hubsband is still moving in a week and a half... I don't know what to do... My search for our dog goes completely dead... I have tried and tried and tried to adopt a dog from a shelter and every dog I go for is already adopted!! The shelters make it so difficult to adopt a homeless dog.. you have to fill out multiple applications and give many contacts... it is really frustrating!!!
So I am forced to love on my own dog.. here he is... Cooperbaby...

Have a WONDERFUL weekend my friends!!!!

Stripes all over.. and a Look What I got..

Top: Gap c/o Goodwill

Capris: Dots

necklace:Lia Sophia

shoes: Wal Mart

I am linking up with Bri from workclothesisuppose.blogspot.com for her stripes linkup... half my wardrobe is stripes so this one was easy....

This one just shows how much  better we look in black and white...

A change up in the living room.. had to do some restructuring....

My "Look What I Got" over at thetinyheart.blogspot.com and pennilesssocialite.blogspot.com... This cute little phone I got at Big Lots.. They have this collection called "District 23".. I would buy like the whole collection if I could.. but this little phone I got for half off.. so orignally 26.00 I got it for 18.00!! I also got the globe on the bottom shelf of the lamp...

Trying to bring in some black and white in the living room to go with the rug and the black chair...
also linking up with vodkainfusedlemonade.com

The things we do to survive....

hey y'all.. its Monday again... I have much anxiety this Monday.... Where to begin....

ok... I told y'all that my hubsband was going to take a government job in Virginia... so he is leaving for said job in 2 weeks...now this is not the first time we have  lived apart.. its like the 4th... the plan is for him to move himself out there.. get acclimated and try to find a transfer back to Chicago....will it happen this neatly? Probably not.. he could be there for a year or two years... what will this mean for our finances? Our relationship? Our family dynamic? I don't know... but I do know that all of the arguments that someone would have over this we've had... he has this opportunity and if he doesn't take it he'll feel like a failure or like he was given an opportunity and didn't take it... I can't go with him for a plethora of reasons... I have  a great job, my son is a junior in high school... I'm not going to make him graduate from another school... my dad is alone, we own a house... plus... and this is the big one.. I DON'T WANT TO MOVE!!!!!! I know alot of my bloggers have moved for their spouses and it all turned out alright.. this probably would to and I don't even know if I won't in  year or two... but for now.. no...

SO... how do we survive... with distractions and probably bad decisons... so I have decided to get another dog for protection... I have completely gotten hubsband on board by letting him pick the breed... I've got my eye on this one...

it says he is completely submissive which is exactly what I'm looking for since my dogs both think they're badasses!!! this one is also in the running...  as is this one.. and this one.. so I will definitely keep y'all updated on my progress... as well as my mental state....

Some common cures for unusual ailments...

Hey y'all... its summer which brings some unusual ailments to some...
1. Unusual ailment #1... prickly heat and/ or yeast infections... last summer I was itching so bad every time I took my bra off... I'm a 36D and as mentioned in previous entries... my boobs are not ... how would you say?.. perky.... so I am literally lifting my boobs to scratch them... so my sister tells me that's a yeast infection... I'm like, "WHAT???" Shes like, "calm down!! Just powder under there..so I did an informal study of those I knew who were well endowed... and I found this...

One of my friends said she uses this for everything for her kids and it works... so I got it and she was right...
Unusual ailment #2... insomnia... probably not so unusual, but in the school year I have less trouble than in the summer... so I would love to tell you I found this on my own.. but I didn't.. I got this mailed to me....

Dream Water... 17.99

for four.. this is good.. it works... its not like ambien but gentle....

Everything

else.. I know all of you pinteresters know all about hydrogen peroxide... but I have found many new uses for it... I put it in my dishwasher with the detergent and it really gets the gunk off the dishes.. I made a concoction of vinegar, dawn clear dishwashing liquid, and hydrogen peroxide for cleaning carpet stains and pet accidents on my floor...  it really does a much better job than any other carpet cleaner I have tried...
So I hope this was helpful... if you are an avid pinterester and have any unusual remedies.. PLEASE comment!! I would love to hear them!!!

the 72nd picture of my bed...

 

 My 13 blog followers are going to be like, "WHAT?? ANOTHER bedspread???" I KNOW!!!!! I cannot stop tinkering with this bed!!! I get a comforter and then I have to change it up because it gets dirty or ripped or I just get bored.... I found this quilt and sham at Salvation Army for 20.00..its originally from Linens and Things.... I am desperately trying to turn this bedroom shabby chic....theres carpeting in the bedroom and I HATE carpeting.... I would love to just rip it out and get laminate but its so much work.(woooooorrrrrkkkkkk.........grooooooooossssss!!!!) This dog is always happy when I change out the bed.. He thinks its just for him... My sisters and my girl at work Joy asked me "WHY do you have so many comforters???" I said its what I'm drawn to... that and bath rugs... its not healthy I know!!!My sister said shes like that with belts... Do you have something that you keep shopping for even though you DON'T need it??? The bright side? This qualifies for my "look what I got" over at thetinyheart.blogspot.com and pennilesssocialite.blogspot.com

Mrs.Wishy Washy can't wear mini dresses

Hey y'all... this is like the week of investigating all the wonderful blogs out there in a hopefully valiant effort on my part to improve this little blog....
now the theme of the week for bloggers must be mini dresses because thats all I see out there.... I will illustrate...
twothirtyfivedesigns.blogspot.com

 Jenna from twoohtwoseven.blogspot.com

Katie from forlaurenandlauren.blogspot.com (9 months pregnant btw...)
Bri from workclothesisuppose.blogspot.com

 So you get the picture... I love all of these looks... I just wish I could pull them off... I did find a nice little mini dress with tights on thirtiestwocents.blogspot.com 

and if I ever wear a mini dress I will have to wear tights...let me elaborate... being the age of 43 has gotten me some challenging body parts... my boobs are saggy, I have extra skin from my two kids age 18 and 15 that just never went away.. just kind of stretched some more.. and if you all have grandmas.. most (not all... I know.. but mine) that have like a layer of fat over their kneecaps... it looks like this..
  (disclaimer: these are not my legs)
 so when I wear dresses.. I look like this: 
So to wrap up... to all my bloggers who have nice legs... treasure them!! I wish I had some...