Its always around this time of the year that that old feeling comes to me.... jealousy...... I swear I have had this since I was little... people going on vacations, people having parties, people going on excursions... and I always always feel it this time of year... so I usually expect it... but this year its worse... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY worse..... A good friend of mine had a baby a week ago and she is soooooooooooo obvi over the moon... She has an 8 year old and now this new one...
So it makes me rethink my whole life... was I present enough when my kids were babies? Did I give them enough love and attention??In this day of facebook and easily accessible video and pictures I feel like parents today can document every minute of their babies lives... now that my kids are 21 and 18 (in August) I'm like, " Did they have a good childhood?? Were they ever happy? Did I give them enough?? " So thats where I'm at... too much time on my hands... too much time to think, to look back, to try try try to remember how much I have and how much I have to be grateful for...I'll get there.... eventually...
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