Where is my Happily Ever After?

I actually have this sign in my house... thats why I picked this phrase.... my happily ever after is in very deep peril at the moment... I can't say I know what will happen... This move of my hubsband and his current job is changing my DNA... I feel so sad and angry all the time.. I feel like the person I am becoming is someone I don't recognize... like I'm no good to anyone...everything I believe in is being questioned... are these just growing pains or a test of my devotion to my marriage.. I don't know!!!!I dont' know anything and I feel like I'm shouting SOS from the rooftops and I'm blinded by something... I feel like I'm drowning in my own head... I feel betrayed because I never wanted to live with a husband who was away all the time.. I'm 43... I want someone to be with me... not away from me.. this job will require long hours, many trips lasting 2 weeks to 2 months, and there is a possiblity of being hurt/killed... and this stupid job has been hanging over my head like a black chandelier for 5 years....uggghhh!!! I'm sorry my posts are so melancholy!!! I will try to snap out it but no promises....