Monday, May 6, 2013

live in peace.. not in pieces...

This.. my friends.. is easier than it looks... now.. I can tell people to do their work.. this is Iyanla Vanzant talking..(and girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllll.. if you are not watching "Iyanla Save My Life" go and find it on your dvr and start watching immediately... I will wait for you...)
Now the hard part is for me to do my own work... my family (like Mom Dad sisters) are a big complicated and sometimes prickly bunch...there are 5 girls... this alone is a mountain... and my dad...
is the definition of the word "patriarch" for good, bad, and ugly... he changed out the storm windows, took out the garbage, put up Christmas lights, mowed the lawn,had to meet every boy I went out with... he carved the turkey.. he sat at the head of the table...  now none of this is bad.. its all good.. but he also had alot of traditions that had to be honored no matter what... he and my mom were very old school... and in the old school vein.. some feelings get hurt (think like Bing Crosby era) some butts got spanked, some heads got bopped, some egos were broken... My dad went into AA in 1977 and hasn't had a drink since.. I was 7 when that happened.. my sisters were older and they remember things differently... darker... but fastforward to today like the ghost of Christmas Present... and hes just a man... hes not responsible for anyone anymore... and hes utterly alone.. I mean this man doesn't even have a dog... but my sister says, "No... you reap what you sow..." and holds on to her anger with a vice grip... now... look in the mirror Suzanne... after telling said sister to lay her burdens down and make up with Dad... hubsband reprimands me for butting my nose in and informs me that I accomplished nothing but hurt feelings... now... I do not agree... I think sister and Dad should have a meal together and hug it out....
WELL... then do I have to hug it out with Freaknuts (AKA hubsband)??? Doesn't he have to come to me???? T\ell me he was wrong and I was right and my intentions were good... YES!!! That is exactly like how it should happen,... .I'm, not trying to hold on to the anger... I have to let it go but that is easier in the picture than in real life...,.... the anger is  not serving me. why can't I let  it go???...sorry this post was so scattered... I fee like its reading one of those CIA documents all blacked out... try to read between the line....

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