Sunday, December 28, 2014

When to have your last baby....

Hey gals... I've been on the hook about a topic that has plagued me for a while... I let go of it, and then I pick it up again... I know I've talked about it on the blog... its having your last baby.... my last baby was born about 17 1/2 years ago... now since that baby was about 5-6 I've always wanted another one... my mom had 5 kids... all of my friends moms had 4-6 children... it was normal..but my hubsband... he barely wanted one kid... we "accidentally" got pregnant with Casey..(accident my ass... I knew what was going on...) and Jack was planned... sooooo... later on, after we'd had Jack for a few years I tell hubs..."Lets have another baby"... he is all like, "HELL NO!!!! and if you didn't hear it the first time... HELL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"  He was very determined in his resolve NOT to have another baby... so my sister tells me... why don't  you just have one anyway??? he doesn't need to know... just slip one past the goalie..... so I think about it... and while I"m thinking about it, I read this article about a woman who did just that... she slipped one past the goalie... ended up with twins... one special needs.... and the husband resented this whole thing and ended up having an affair... the two separated and are divorced.. the husband admitted it was the third pregnancy... he never wanted another baby.. now he has two.. and one is special needs..... lt was like divine tintervention... ifd it had been us, hubs would be OUT... he would not have participated in the care of  the child... so I honored my hubsband's request and gave up on the idea of another child and got a dog (or two) to satisfy my nurturing urge.... I've read blogs and articles about women who have had 3-7 k ids and one day, they make the decision to have their LAST baby... if you've had 1 or  21 its not an easy decision... I'm 44... now I'm waiting for Casey to start having babies.... then... and only then... will my need be quenched....


  1. I think the grandchildren will be good for you both. You can give them back when you have had your fill. I became a mom at 44. I had infertility and a hysterectomy before adopting our two girls, foster to adopt. It's hard being an older mom and my youngest daughter is special needs, she was born with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and is in a special ed day class (with an awesome teacher). But we were told she would just have some mild learning, so not it. But we have adjusted and yes, it is hard. I can see the parent of the twins, one with special needs, going over the edge. Because it's harder than you imagine it would be and it does put pressure on your marriage in ways it never has been before. It's also full of joy too. But we were not prepared for the issues we faced. My husband has a harder time than I do, and it's harder as his job is stressful then he has my daughter's issues to face when he comes home. So I say for you, grandchildren will be great! I bet you will be a wonderful grandma. :-)

  2. Wow!!! What a story!! How old were your kids when you adopted them? I give you big kudos for your honesty.... Being a first time mom at 44 has to be hard... But as you said, full of joy too