Tuesday, July 23, 2013

a look back...

All day I've been watching this video of William and Kate and their new baby just like all of you.... and I have to admit.. I'm JEALOUS.... of what??? of the newness of it all.... not the fashion or the baby or the hubsband... of the newness!!!! A first baby is a first baby and it is a once in a lifetime thing... your life changes in an instant... one minute you're pregnant and can go to the movie and the next minute you're a mama and you can't leave the living room.... When I had my first baby we lived in a one bedroom apartment... I went to a friends house who lived in Naperville and she had a luxurious 3 bedroom house with custom fixings... I was jealous... but as I look back at that one bedroom apartment I think... we had no room to not be together... we were always together... we had no choice... so was it that bad? No.. my daughter doesn't even remember it... she doesn't remember that I had post partum depression and was crying for about 3 days after she was born... she doesn't remember how I felt so inadequate as a mother... she doesn't remember when my aunt died and had to get her up at 6 am to go pick up my grandma... she doesnt' even remember when I had to get her up at 6 am when I worked in the city.... she doesnt' remember any of that.... I remember it... and now.. now that shes 19... I hope she just remembers me as me.....I hope when she has her babies I will remember all of it and help her to remember.. this is once in a lifetime... cherish it!!!

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